Some time earlier this week i learned about a possible hot air balloon ride early Sunday morning. If that short statement of awe didn't intrigue you, please stop reading now. i Wish i could convince you like Lemony Snicket because if i could you would be sure to stop. He writes so convincingly sometimes i came pretty close to stopping as he continued to suggest but that's what kept my eyes running...over the pages.
Anyway, it was a REMAX donation event where they were trying to help Children's Miracle Network i believe. The gist (where did we get this strange and incoherent term? Glad you're wondering too and want to learn something about the English language during your sunny summer of laziness. Just read that it comes from the great Franรงais verb "gesir" meaning "to lie". It entered the English language 'as a legal term' in 1688. Thank you for reading this brief and informative history lesson in its entirety and yes it is now at a close and you may continue to snore uproariously, for after all you are in summer break and wouldn't dare be taught anything of value in this day of partying, nonsense, and clods of sunblock.) is that you could give any donation and "take a ride in a hot air balloon". Inviting? Quite.
Woke up at 4:56 this morning when i set my alarm for 4:30. We were going to leave at 5. Well, it still worked out. We got there with too much time anyway. i Was sure everyone and their sister and puppies would want a free ride. Wouldn't you assume so too? It's only logical. Everyone does want to ride in one, surely. Well, we arrived with the people setting up and i tried fitfully to try and sleep. Did i mention it was about a 40 minute minivan ride to this field and i didn't sleep a wink? i Was so thrilled i couldn't sleep well last night and was happily flipping and flopping around like a balled up wet pair of boxer shorts in a washing machine set on spin cycle.
At around 7 i gave up and stepped out into a dew covered field that had a petite bite to the air. Mr. Hot Air Balloon Man was having some adults and little girls help him spread it out. Not to be out done by some 6, 'scuse me, 7 and a half year olds, i scuttled over to the balloon and was told to get on some working gloves. Boy oh boy, electrifying. The thought of helping Mr. Hot Air Balloon Man out let alone soaring off the ground? Special. Oh so.
The burly hairy man of a man told us recruits that he needed people holding the balloon open while he shot air, and later hot air, into the mammoth airship. Yes, i did jump at one of those jobs. The other job included holding ropes and for this he needed several. My job was just with three others; two of them held some more, yes, ropes while the other actually held the blimp open. i Made sure to ask the manly stock Balloon Man if my job i had just ignorantly volunteered for needed a sturdy soul, but he assured me without a smile that it didn't.
i Held it open but i made a mistake in the first second. He had a fan blowing powered by a gas motor. It was on my side. Hooray. My shorts turned into sails and flapped foolishly around my legs and it wasn't long before they were blown clean off and i was left...
All right all right, but they were sails. Real sails, ballooning ridiculously up and tearing back and forth shouting in competition with the outboard. Dazzling. Nevertheless, i held on to that ring that felt like it belonged to a ballroom gown and awkwardly tried to continue to hold my useless left foot down on it. It ever so slowly began to rise and i anxiously thought up terrible possible future events if i were to let my spindly fingers slide a tad away from the hoop.
Finally, he began to try and fill it with hot (no it's not hot air for those of you who still don't know. It is burning flames shot into the balloon. "Hot" my eye. Yes i know you knew that, but it makes me feel brighter and more knowledgeable about this field of work that i don't know a lick about. Ahah.) air but alas, crosswinds started to blow and rudely interrupted.
It began again of me trying to desperately hold on and not think too drastically about the ever approaching future as my hands grew more tired. It worked with patience of which i utterly had lacked all morning.
Instead of describing in full in another 16 to 38 paragraphs of a cold hot air balloon adventure in which i sailed the clouds and gazed into the depths of the sea and saw sharks and dolphins and all manner of sea life playing and singing happy songs, i will crush your hopes instead. i Did not go more than 40 feet in the air and stayed tethered to a few vehicles below.
Was it worth it? By all means. Every bit of it. Why might you demand so indignantly? Because my one friend, i still rode and spent some of the day in a... "cold hot air balloon!" i Thanked Mr. Hot Air Balloon Man and tried to get his attention by calling him this but he didn't take much notice for he was busy talking to the new riders.
Singing the song on the way home i couldn't help but grin from nostril to nostril as i could cross off traveling in one of those giants. However, i'll still keep my eyes peeled for another venture.
To make the day just one step better it was July 4th. Happy Independence Day. i Was invited to our back-back porch that was ghettoly added to our house and enjoyed a bowl of fresh silver blueberries with cream and whipped cream sprayed with care from a Wal-Mart aerosol can i probably had run to get at the last moment last trip. Pretending you are in the Tour de France nix the bicycle in Wal-Mart is a must.
Another good addition. Sailship has posted two new songs to celebrate too. i've had them on manual repeat for..all day.
One more for the road? Mark Swickley posted lyrics too.
One more for Chuck Norris because...yeah. We watched fireworks through some trees from our screened-in back porch. They were illegal, fun, noisy, and bright. i Further believe they were being shot off from a hoity-toity golf corse near by that needed commotion like that.
These were made so much more enjoyable because the parents were ecstatic. They kept shouting joyful noises such as, "YES! Another one!" "Do it again!" "Yes!" "Do another one!" i Won't put them all in bold, or caps or italics because if you know that merry couple than you know that they can get loud. No, honestly. Surely every retired soul could have heard them through the concrete and closed windows as they tried wearily to close their old and rich eyes. (Not poor because that wouldn't make any sense.)
Yes.
Hope your Fourth was as special or more and you ate enough to stuff you up to the rafters. Some were eating hot dogs and burgers. i Had a tasty chicken salad and homemade ice cream with Malted Milk.
Extraordinary. ;)
Oh, last note. You wanted a patriotic message full of usable intel. to share with your family next year and your grand kids later? It looks like i left that out. Well, it does not have "great sharing abilities" and it most likely doesn't "connect with your troublesome teens this summer" but you can read Flags just for you to um, read.
